Since my last post, I had to say goodbye to my beautiful cat of 16 years. She was a wonderful companion. I miss her conversations (yes, we talked!) I miss her audible purr; I had only to glance at her eye to eye and speak to her and it would turn on like a light switch. I miss the warmth of her plump body on my lap. I miss the feel of her silky coat when I patted her. However, God's grace has been tangible, and I look for His companionship and comfort more now, because of the loss.
I've also had to mourn the loss of a few hopes and dreams. Some are as old as 16 years, some as recent as a year. Some even involve the future. Things that have been, aren't anymore. Things that I thought were to be, won't. Honestly, nothing makes sense to me right now.
Nevertheless, as much as theses losses are real, the reality is, God knows and loves me. I choose to trust that - despite the losses - I'm gaining. Even though I feel like I'm dying, He wants to bring forth new life. Even though I hurt, He is not harming me. I'm reminded (once again) of God's word that says:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
So I wait. And I pick up my guitar and I worship Him once again. And I pray.
.
"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you (Jeremiah 29:12)
Pretty cool, huh? God listens to me! It even gets better ...
"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." (Jeremiah 33:3)
Speak, Lord, your servant is listening. (1 Samuel 3:10)